Can't we all just get along? Not if you are going to act like a bitch... Just sayin'. I have decided to separate myself from people that are not displaying the personality traits of a real friend. Read about it in my blog:
So if you have a person in your life that is not serving you in some way, why? Did I strike a nerve? Good! When I use the word "serve," I don't mean it in a demeaning capacity. I mean it in a reciprocal relationship like a give and take. I love to serve a purpose in my friends' lives. I give and give until it hurts sometimes. Like my Grandpa used to say..."When I am willing to walk over coals for you and you can't walk across the room to pee on me if I am on fire, there's a problem."
Trust... I have to be able to trust that I am safe in your presence and through extension my belongings. Being in college is super exciting and there are a lot of choices to be made. I know that doesn't sound like a lot to an adult, but I don't have the practice you have in juggling so many things that I can't even enjoy one. I have to practice it every day to be that good at it.
Respect... One thing I am happy about is the freedom I have to make my own decisions, but I try to remember that my rights end where yours begin. You could try that too! For example, you have a right to have a crazy "rager" party when I am out of town, per se. But, I have a right to have my belongings respected and not stolen by the
alleged small gathering of "friends" you invited into our home who by the way don't have
any idea about what happened to my HP laptop.
Compassion... Thank you for feeling so bad about it. A ride to the store to purchase a new one would have been a great way to show it, but I had to call someone else to help me because you didn't have time to help me after you got my stuff stolen. That's a great friend trait.
Accountability... We have a lease with real clear guidelines of the consequences of said action. I can't help that the landlord enforces them. That doesn't make me mad at you. That makes me absence when you made bad decisions that have now caught up with you. We can still be friendly to each other we have space to share.
Faith... You know that moment when you think your "friend" is great and they do something that is so wrong that you can't believe it. So you say something and they have the nerve to be offended. Nice! Friends should look out for each other, protect each other from harm, and keep the lines of communication open in times of trouble.
I know that this is something that we are going to have issues with for a while. I am happy to work on this, but if you think I am going to trust you to show me respect and compassion without taking accountability for what you have done to this friendship you are placing too much faith in how great you are because I can do better than a friend that changes how they feel about me when they make a mistake.